I had a recent chat with a friend who is walking out a difficult adoption.
I admit to flinching as a writer when typing “difficult adoption” because there are few that are easy, but this one is particularly thorny. They are not flinching, but they’re feeling the pain. In the exchange, my friend said….
“Is adoption easy for anyone? Because it’s hard here and it makes me think I must be doing it wrong.”
I suppose there are times when it’s easy, but more often than not it’s some degree of hard. It may be financial, it may be relational, or a host of issues inherited that one did not see coming, but it’s a struggle. It’s a fight. It’s the grafting of one soul into an existing tribe, except that soul brings it’s stuff with it.
The concepts of ‘easy’ and ‘worthwhile’ rarely meet. In fact, resistance is often a sign that we’re doing what we’re supposed to do before heaven, as all hell rushes to slow us down.
But hell can’t stop us. Not when we know what we’re supposed to do. We can’t be stopped. We can only quit…and love doesn’t quit.
Families in the midst of hard adoptions – waiting for the money, waiting for the social worker, waiting for the grace – you are not alone. Keep fighting. It is a good and worthwhile fight.
Our family struggle lies primarily with the scope of what we’ve bit off. We are vastly outnumbered and out gunned. Every day feels like D-Day.
What’s your adoption challenge? Sometimes it helps to tell someone and know you’re not alone.
If you would like to contact Randy Bohlender you can email him at (randy@thezoefoundation.com) or if you would like to make a financial contribution to the Bohlender family, CLICK HERE.
