Do you ever feel misunderstood by others? 

Let’s be honest — most people haven’t experienced the spiritual and emotional challenges of serving God as a missionary like you. This is not to mention that you are a one-of-a-kind person with a unique history and personality. 

Bill and I (Kristi) sometimes feel lonely when leading during stressful seasons of ministry at Soul Shepherding. We’re grateful God has brought many wonderful soul friends into our lives who see us and know us — but it’s easy to forget. 

This sense of aloneness isn’t new for me. As a child, I often felt like an outsider in my family. I didn’t know it back then, but I’m a Highly Sensitive Person who is wired to experience deeper emotions. I often felt overwhelmed by my “big” feelings. 

Meanwhile, my parents naturally leaned toward thinking and doing instead of feeling. Whenever I felt distressed, they didn’t seem to understand. 

This made me feel ashamed about being so emotional. I bottled up my intense feelings and determined that everyone around me would be better off if I were more “normal.” But self-judgement and self-hatred only caused more stress for me and everyone around me. 

Deep down, I longed for someone to seek to understand me. Like all of us, I desired to be accepted for who I really am. 

But mostly I was left feeling like others didn’t get me. It seemed like I was all alone. All of us have experienced the pain of being misunderstood by others… 

Perhaps people have gotten hurt by your leadership and left your ministry without seeking to understand your heart. 

Maybe you’ve been criticized for being “irresponsible “or “careless” for the financial sacrifices you’ve made to be a missionary. 

You’ve likely experienced being seen only as a leader, rather than a real person with real feelings. 

It’s common to judge yourself for having emotions when others reject you or misunderstand you.

But to stuff your feelings for the sake of “good leadership” leaves you stuck where you are — hurt and alone. This not only takes a toll on your soul but also on your family and ministry to others. 

So how might you handle your emotions? Especially when you’re tempted to judge them as wrong or hide them from those around you? 

Thankfully God brought people into my life who sought to know and understand me. They took the time to listen to me, ask thoughtful questions, and care for my emotions. 

These special friends served as Jesus’ ambassadors to me (2 Corinthians 5:20). Their nurture helped me experience his loving nature. I learned that they were listening to me the same way God listened to Jesus when he felt emotional (Hebrews 5:7; Mark 14:32-36). 

Jesus was… emotional? Many Christians don’t seem to think so. But reading the Bible closely shows that Jesus felt and expressed deep emotions during his life. 

To become like Jesus, we must befriend all of him — his emotions along with his thoughts and actions. Immanuel became human and experienced the same struggles and temptations we do. Learning to receive his empathy in our trials helps us go deeper with God and grow in wholeness and holiness (Hebrews 4:15). 

Jesus models the importance of emotional honesty and receiving empathy for all of us. We can learn to feel our emotions alongside the Good Shepherd to be seen and known and loved by Papa God. 

I’m thankful for the soul friends God has brought into my life. Yet sometimes I’m tempted to feel alone and like nobody would understand me. There are also moments when Bill or others aren’t available for deep conversation. 

During these moments, I’ve learned to connect with Jesus’ emotions in the Gospels. Meditating on his emotions helps me get in touch with my own feelings and gives me the courage to put words to them in prayer. 

Coming to admire and bond with Jesus the Feeler will help you cry out to be found by him and grow in God’s great love for you. 

That’s why we included a Bible study in our new book Deeply Loved that displays the emotions Jesus showed in the Gospels. There are over 39 different emotions our Lord and Savior experienced as he grew in the grace of loving God and serving others (Luke 2:52). 

We pray the verses below help you start feeling with Jesus as you explore the language of emotions. You can use them as a mirror to reflect your own experience and receive Jesus’ empathy.

Jesus felt so anxious that he sweated out drops of blood in prayer (Luke 22:44). 

He wept with sadness when people he loved rejected him and refused to accept his message of peace (Luke 19:41). 

He felt misunderstood and angry when religious leaders opposed his ministry (Mark 3:5). He felt grief when his friends were hurting and sad (John 11:35). 

He chose to experience the shame and embarrassment of sin through the cross (Hebrews 12:2). 

He felt forsaken by God and alone in his suffering (Mark 15:34). 

You have a Friend who feels all the emotions you do and is present with you always (Matthew 28:20; Psalm 46:1). 

He sees you. He knows you. He gets you. 

Do you want to go deeper in emotional health with Jesus? Soul Shepherding would love to partner with you. 

Here are three steps you can take: 

#1 You might start by reading Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting God’s Great Empathy for You. We wrote this book as a guide to help you cultivate meaningful connection with God and others through sharing emotions and empathy. 

You can purchase Deeply Loved as a simple and cost-effective first step to grow in emotional wholeness. 

#2 Perhaps you need a conversation with a safe and empathetic listener? The spiritual directors at Soul Shepherding can help you walk through the challenges of life, apprenticeship to Jesus, and ministry. 

Click here to book an appointment with a spiritual director. 

#3 Our most comprehensive path to help you flourish in wholeness with Jesus is to come on retreat with us. Each five-day retreat is designed to help you go deeper in emotional health and loving leadership in a beautiful location. A week of training in Jesus-centered psychology and soul care practices will leave you feeling rejuvenated and equipped for new rhythms of life and ministry.

We’d love for you to come on retreat with Soul Shepherding! Praying you experience the warm embrace of Jesus the Feeler.