Let’s do an exercise together. Set aside your ministry task list and everything you “should” be doing. Take a moment to pause and become present — to your own soul and to God.
Let’s be honest — many of us are disconnected. We don’t know what we’re feeling and certainly don’t have a present sense of God’s feelings toward us.
Acknowledging that you feel distant from God is hard to admit when you are a missionary. After all, you’re supposed to be the “professional Christian” whom others look to for spiritual leadership. But sadly, this pressure only adds to the problem.
You long to connect more wholeheartedly with God but need help. This is one reason we wrote our brand new book Deeply Loved: Receiving and Reflecting God’s Great Empathy for You (which inspired this article).
Your relationship with Jesus will flourish as you accept that you’re human. You have emotions and needs that matter. Cultivating intimacy with your Best Friend looks like letting him see and know the real you. When you learn to relate to Jesus like this, you’ll be able to authentically care for those under your leadership as you share his loving presence with them (Ephesians 3:17-19; 1 Thessalonians 3:12).
But this kind of connected living sometimes requires a fresh approach to relationships — both with God and others. This is the case for many pastors and leaders who come to a Soul Shepherding retreat seeking a deeper relationship with Jesus and more loving relationships with others.
Take Kit’s story as an example. I (Bill) listened to him share that he felt distant from God during one of our retreats. He was frustrated that deeper intimacy with the Lord seemed out of reach and “trying harder” spiritually wasn’t working.
Kit was surprised to discover that feeling far from God was connected to his childhood. As a boy, he didn’t have safe relationships where he could be honest about his feelings. He hadn’t experienced being understood and valued.
He lamented, “I believed that emotions were unreliable and should not lead me in any way.” He didn’t realize that emotional awareness was critical to understanding himself, relating to God, and loving others well.
Kit had learned to shove down hurt, anxiety, fear, shame, and anger to cope with stress. But denying “negative” emotions also keeps us from enjoying positive emotions. It won’t be long before you feel disconnected from God and others.
The more you stuff your emotions, the more distressed and disconnected you become, and the further you distance yourself from experiencing Jesus’ tender love. Yet he longs for you to bring your whole self into his embrace (Matthew 11:28; 19:14; 22:37).
So how do you close the distance between you and God? You can learn to feel with Jesus. This doesn’t mean letting your emotions control you or lead you into sin — it means allowing the Good Shepherd to notice you and cherish you. It’s releasing your emotions to him and receiving his empathy.
In Deeply Loved, we define empathy as seeking to understand someone’s emotions, thoughts, and experiences to help them know they are deeply loved by God. Empathy is expressed through curious questions, patient listening, and a tender heart. It holds you in Jesus’ presence and connects you to his heartfelt care.
But you might be wondering the same thing that Kit asked us on retreat: Does the Bible talk about empathy?
Empathy is indeed modeled and taught throughout Scripture. In fact, we draw on over 100 empathy scriptures in the book. The Bible often says or shows us that the Lord hears our prayers, sees our tears, is close to the brokenhearted, and truly desires to know us authentically. The following verses paint a captivating picture of God’s empathy for us (you might consider meditating on them to more fully grasp Abba’s nature):
I have heard your prayer and seen your tears; I will heal you (2 Kings 20:5).
The Lord is close to the brokenhearted, and he saves those whose spirits have been crushed (Psalm 34:18 NCV).
… “The Lord be exalted, who delights in the well-being of his servant” (Psalm 35:27).
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting (Psalm 139:23-24).
The Lord says:… “As a mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you” (Isaiah 66:12-13).
The Lord says, “Listen to the weeping of my people; it can be heard all across the land… I hurt with the hurt of my people” (Jeremiah 8:19, 21 NLT).
Jesus wept (John 11:35).
For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are — yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need (Hebrews 4:15-16).
As you can see, the Bible beautifully and powerfully dismantles the idea of a distant and disconnected God. The pathway to heartfelt connection with him comes through honesty and empathy — opening your heart and attuning to his presence as he feels with you, delights in you, cries with you, comforts you, and strengthens you.
These verses illustrate Abba’s empathy for you. Yet the most powerful display of God’s empathy is the incarnation of Jesus as Immanuel or “God with us” (Matthew 1:23).
In other words, Jesus became like you so he could feel with you and fully understand you. His passion to go to the cross, die for your sins, and reconcile you to God shows how incredibly far his empathy for you goes!
It’s in Christ we find loving presence, full knowing, fellow feeling, deep understanding, and endless compassion. He’s where we’re safe, held, supported, and empowered to grow. Flourishing intimacy with Jesus is connected to receiving the empathy of Jesus.
And friends — a thriving relationship with Jesus is the key to your ministry to others (John 15:5; Acts 4:13). Once you experience the Good Shepherd’s heart for you personally, you will begin to care for others in a way that’s fresh, life-giving, and fruitful.
Receiving God’s great empathy for you will naturally and authentically lead to reflecting his empathy to those around you. Again, we see this modeled in how Jesus’ followers and church leaders approached ministry (many of them were missionaries). These scriptures show how Jesus’ empathy flows to you, then through you:
Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God (2 Corinthians 1:3-4).
Be kind and helpful to one another, tender-hearted [compassionate, understanding], forgiving one another [readily and freely], just as God in Christ also forgave you (Ephesians 4:32 AMP).
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Bear with each other… Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity (Colossians 3:12-14).
[Jesus, our high priest] is able to deal gently with those who are ignorant and are going astray, since he himself is subject to weakness (Hebrews 5:2).
The more empathy lives in you, the more it can flow out of you. Your empathetic care will help others — your family, friends, and those you serve — connect more fully with Jesus and know they are deeply loved by Papa God.
Deeply Loved includes biblical insights, proven psychological tools, and spiritual disciplines to transform your emotional and spiritual life through empathy. You’ll experience God’s love and learn to love others well.
You can learn more about Deeply Loved here.
Praying you experience how deeply God loves you and those around you.
