All of us want to know God’s will for us. This is especially true when there are big life decisions to make.
Should I leave my job or look for another one?
Is this new car a wise purchase?
How should I approach conflict with my friend?
Let’s be honest — the tension of the “unknown” only builds when serving Jesus as a missionary. You want to make decisions that honor God. The moves you make affect other people. Your family makes sacrifices based on the direction you choose.
Should we move overseas and raise our kids in a different country?
What is Jesus’ strategy for discipleship in a foreign context?
How is God going to provide for us financially?
Hearing God’s voice is essential to apprenticeship to Jesus. Discernment is also important in ministry and leadership.
But have you ever asked God a question and experienced silence? What’s happening when he’s not providing the answers we desire?
It brings freedom to remember that hearing God is part of an intimate relationship with him — not a device to make everything easier. Our Heavenly Father is not a GPS that maps out every turn for us to take.
Sometimes God, in his love for us, does not want to tell us what to do. Instead, he wants to draw us closer to him — helping us to trust that he is with us. More important than hearing from God is appreciating his presence and submitting to his purposes.
Trading Clarity for Trust
I (Bill) remember wrestling over a decision several years ago. I felt anxious about choosing the “right” path.
I explained the situation to my friend Bucky on a walk. He listened with compassion and empathized with my distress. When I finally ran out of words, he shared a story with me:
The great teacher of ethics, John Kavanaugh, visited Mother Teresa while working for three months at her “house of the dying” in Calcutta. He was seeking God’s direction for his future and hoped the saint could help him with discernment.
During their conversation, Mother Teresa asked how she could support John. “Pray that I have clarity,” he responded.
Mother Teresa replied with firmness: “No. I will not do that.”
As you can imagine, John was surprised that she declined the invitation to pray and asked to know the reason.
She explained, “Clarity is the last thing you are clinging to and must let go of.” Taken aback, he said, “But you seem to have clarity from God.”
Mother Teresa laughed, “I have never had clarity; what I have always had is trust. So I will pray that you trust God.” (Story told by Brennan Manning in Ruthless Trust, p. 5.)
It might seem that seeking clarity is more “spiritual.” It’s tempting to think the more we grow in Christlikeness, the more we know the specifics of God’s will. But sometimes the opposite is true.
Dallas Willard notes, “Many people seek to hear God solely as a device for securing their own safety, comfort, and righteousness” (Hearing God, p. 28). It’s possible that our desire for step-by-step instructions actually weakens our faith (trust) and diminishes companionship with God.
Growing in God’s Silence
So how does “not knowing” strengthen our faith? How does a lack of clarity deepen our relationship with Jesus?
Choosing to “walk it out” with the Good Shepherd — especially when we don’t have certainty — is a mature faith that relies on trusting God’s character through challenges and distressing emotions. It’s a risk that throws us on his mercy.
Abraham said “yes” to travel to an “unknown place” even though “he had no idea where he was going.” It was through tension and questions on his expedition with God that he came to know God’s love, commitment, and provision (Hebrews 11:8-10 MSG, Genesis 15:2, 8, 12-21; 22:8).
Likewise, David models for us how to get honest about our faith struggles — expressing his questions and doubts about God, feelings of abandonment, and genuine despair. Yet the unknowns eventually led him to trust in God’s unfailing love and goodness (Psalm 13).
It’s often when we decide to trust God in the weakness of having no answers or direction that we find his grace to be sufficient for us (2 Corinthians 12:9).
It takes faith to act upon God’s voice. But loving God and others when you can’t hear his voice is another dimension of faith. This experience deepens our trust in him and brings freedom from the need for God to micromanage every word and action.
Knowing that Jesus is with us, making a way for us, and protecting us when we can’t see it or feel it cultivates a secure attachment to him. Sometimes he’s telling us to wait and depend on him. Other times, he’s giving us the freedom to choose. This deep work of the Spirit helps us
come to know ourselves more and more as his children and relate to him as Abba Father (Romans 8:14-15).
Of course, it’s a blessing when God gives us clarity, but often he doesn’t. Blissful rest and peace come when you appreciate the greatest blessing of the risen Christ in your midst right now. He is wonderfully at work, and you can join him, learning from him and loving God and those around you in his name.
Then, as you set aside striving, you might receive direction about an important decision or clarity surrounding a tension you’re experiencing. You also might not.
Either way, you can trust in God as you walk in close relationship with him.
Help for Hearing God
Are you struggling to know God’s voice? Perhaps you’re experiencing confusion about his silence? Here are some next steps to help:
#1 Get a copy of Hearing God’s Voice: How to Sense God’s Guidance and Loving Presence (ebook). This book is designed to help you cultivate a listening life that flows naturally from apprenticeship to him. It includes 8 simple methods to equip you to interact with God in fresh ways — especially when you are struggling to hear from him.
#2 Come on retreat with Soul Shepherding. Our retreats are hosted in beautiful nature settings to help you connect with God while engaging in guided practices like scripture meditation and emotionally honest prayer. Many retreatants come struggling with spiritual dryness and leave appreciating God’s presence and care in new ways.
#3 Talk to a spiritual director. All of us need others who can help us sort through the challenges we encounter in prayer and life. Our spiritual directors are trained to listen with empathy and help you attune to the presence and movement of the Good Shepherd in your heart and circumstances.
